May 23, 2004

the following is slightly ranty and may contain generalizations you find offensivish. especially if you've just purchased a fancy mountain bike and seventeen barrels of light sweet crude oil, or if you are a female who drives an SUV because you would like to have a a penis, or if a vasectomy is your preferred method of post-fathering birth control (no, this doesn't have anything to do with the woman in the SUV, pay attention). it is also long. if at any point you feel like you want me to go back to writing short observations about cicadas, please skip to the end.

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just finished "half asleep in frog pajamas" by tom robbins.

that, plus a conversation i had with liz about dwindling oil supplies and the fact that we'd survive in a post-petroleum world because we're not totally useless have conspired to mindfuck me a bit.

today was a dazed day.

i don't really believe we're going to run out of oil by 2008... but i wish that everyone in this country knew that if we did, it wouldn't just mean buying a smaller SUV or even a fancy mountain bike. rather, except for the especially violent and clever, they would starve. they don't exactly grow the food behind the supermarket.

i wonder if they know (i don't, not exactly) how much petroleum goes into making fresh, relatively drinkable (WASA plus or minus lead, PG county... have they tested yet?) water come out of spouts in my domicile. at least we die of dehydration before we starve...

i don't think it's going to happen in our lifetimes, but if it takes sky-is-falling-i'm-going-to-go-hug-a-tree-now arguments to get people to drive smaller cars and not demand strawberries from argentina in january and not use so much damn electricity typing anti-oil rants on their 2.4GHz 400W-sucking computers, well then...

i'm going to make a prediction. gas will hit $2.25, maybe $2.30 for regular in the DC area, people will freak out, then the prices will slide back down to the $1.70's and everyone will forget about it in relief. cause we only live a little while, and the SUV is the new minivan for the emasculated-feeling dad...

and they're only the tip of our dependence on oil anyway. still, possibly there's something to the myriad penis-enlargement spams i recieve every day.

perhaps, just perhaps, when all us boys have a member we have to tie to our left* leg so we can walk to the supermarket cause it's only a block away will we lose our need to drive giant truck-things.

and for the ladies... well, unless you like your men cartoonishly well endowed, you're going to need faster cars than ford expeditions to get away from the giant cock brigade. especially when they're old and viagra-sodden.

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*yes, the left leg. my right leg is my kicking leg**!

**no one who reads this gets this.... but just in case some one who gets this reads this it's here.

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the end

a wise man once said "pie?"

and also "a screenless window admits cicada"


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